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Counselor's Corner
How much do you love your child? We can hear a
deafening... "More than life itself" coming from the group of parents here
at Thousand Oaks. It shows daily as we see the boys and girls walk through
the doors each morning. We see how much love and care each family puts
into the rearing of the precious "cargo" we care for each day here. We all
share the desire to help the boys and girls become the best they can be,
and that is a good thing, as we know it takes a village to raise a
child.
Sometimes that desire for success puts us parents in
an awkward position. What do we do when we see our child having
difficulties? Well we all know that that is our cue to step in and help,
right? Of course! But, how much do we help, when do we begin doing the
work, and our child becomes a passive observer? We have all been tempted
to just "do it for them." What could it hurt? We don't have time to wait
for them to get it, we want those "A" report cards, what will the teacher
think if half the work is incorrect? Where is the preverbal line between
enough and too much help?
Consider this ... each time you cross the line and
help too much, you are saying some possible things to your child. One
could be, "you are not important enough for me to spend the time to teach
you to hang in there for the hard stuff". Another could be "I don't
believe you are capable of doing this, so I will do it so that it is
correct." Yet another could be, "School is not as important as the other
things in our lives". We all know there may be situations that this may be
true, but if that message is sent often, what are we setting our children
up for later?
If you are wondering, just how much you should help,
call the teacher and ask, "what is my role in this?" We all love the
support you give to your child, let's all of us be aware of the unspoken
message we are sending to them. Make sure when you child does earn that
"A" or "B" or even "C", that they can say "I did this and this is my
best!"
From the Words of Martin Luther King, Jr. ... The
ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and
convenience, but where he stands at time of challenge and
controversy. |
