Bully Awareness in neisd - FAQ’S
Your child may be bullying another if he or she:
• Comes home from school with extra money or "new" toys, books, or clothes.
• Is cruel or mean when talking about other children.
• Excludes other children from activities.
Work closely with your administrator. If you see any of this behavior, take action. Discuss the situation with your child as soon as possible before the behavior becomes routine. Ask questions to find out what is going on in your child's life. It may be that your child is being bullied and is dealing with it by targeting other children. Or your child may not yet know the importance of understanding the feelings of others (empathy).
Many children are too embarrassed or are afraid to tell an adult about bullying. They may think that involving an adult will only make the problem worse. Help prepare children by teaching them socialization skills, modeling friendly behavior, and telling them that you will always be there for them. Mention that if something bothers them, they can also talk with a school counselor.
There are many ways you can help your child deal with bullying.
• Talk about the situation. Although often reluctant at first, many children who are bullied will open up if they are in the right environment. A good place to start these discussions is in the car or other place where you have little eye-to-eye contact. Listen calmly and thoughtfully. Don't promise that you won't tell anyone. Rather, admit that you may need to become involved but you will do your very best not to make problems worse.
• Practice role-playing at home. Encourage your child to react calmly and confidently to taunting. Help your child understand that responding with physical aggression or insults usually will make the problem worse. For example, have your child practice saying "Leave me alone" and then walking away.
• Teach your child behaviors that show confidence rather than shyness and vulnerability. Children can learn to look people in the eye and speak up when they talk. Assure your child that confident behavior can be learned. Help build your child's self-esteem by suggesting that he or she meet others through different activities. Having friends and interests can boost a child's confidence and make him or her less likely to be bullied.
• Encourage your child to think about the qualities that make a good friend.
• Suggest that your child join activities that are supervised by an adult. Bullying is less likely to occur near adults.
WHAT CAN PARENTS DO TO STOP BULLYING?
As with many issues related to growing up, openly talking about bullying before it happens is most helpful for children. Teach your child how to recognize and react to bullying, regardless of who is the victim. Also, talk about and model empathy, which is being sensitive to and understanding how other people feel. This can help prevent your child from becoming involved in bullying others.
Children on both sides of bullying incidents need help. Adults must first recognize that bullying should not be ignored. This includes the form of bullying that makes others feel excluded and shunned. No bullying behaviors should be considered a normal part of growing up. Bullying is abusive behavior that has a negative impact on other children. Bullying may also be an early sign of more violent or cruel behavior later in life.
If you witness bullying, intervene and speak up. Make it clear that you will not tolerate it. Ideally, build an alliance with a bullying child's parents first. If you confront the bully on behalf of your child without his or her parents around, you risk putting the child on the defensive. Also, children who bully often are skilled in turning their parents against you. Don't give them the chance to come up with a different version of the real story. And remember that parents may be the role models for a child's bullying behavior.
So as a concerned parent where do you start?
1. Listen to your child and try to understand where they are coming from…and find out what exactly has been happening.
2. Make sure that your child knows that you do not blame or feel disappointed in them.
3. Ask your child what they think should be done.
4. Find out what they have tried.
5. Find out what worked, what didn’t and why?
6. Ask if they have told a teacher.
7. Work with your campus administration regarding your child's behavior on their school or on the bus.